If you have any exposure to teenagers, you know that a BFF is a "Best Friend Forever." On my farm, I have a BFF, but it's my "Banker Friend Forever."

Unfortunately, my BFF just left the bank for greener pastures. A victim of too many corporate mergers, routine organizational chart reconfigurations and mindless Monday morning marketing meetings just to repeat last week's imaginary ultimatum, "I don't care how you got last year's business, just do 5 percent more next year."

Normally, I couldn't muster this much compassion for a banker. But this was the banker that literally "put me on ...